Sunday, December 25, 2016

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Monday, October 24, 2016

Attack of the Lesbian Farmers

I couldn't help it. Like, COULD NOT. I blame the rum.

My facebook popped up this story that Rush Limbaugh claimed on his show that Obama was paying lesbians to become farmers to infiltrate rural areas. Why they are coming? I have no idea. Probably that pesky gay agenda.

My mind started running. I can't catch it when it does that because I have bad knees and I danced for years and can no longer run like a normal person. My brain went there. I try not to pick at it when it's doing it's thing. WHAT IF these lesbians arrived on fifteen foot Clydesdales in a majestic cloud of dust? WHAT IF they had cows with laser eyes? Stay with me a minute, I do theatre. What are the lesbians motivation? What do they want?

Horchata rum is my new favorite thing, so I spiked a frappucino and got to writing. Attack of the Lesbian Farmers was born. There's lesbians, farmers, fifteen foot Clydesdales, and a cow named Anne Boelyn.

 photo cows2_zpsvf06rabk.jpg

Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Feet of Clay and Midnight's Sonata are on sale for $.99. I meant to blog when the price first changed, but the past few days have been insane.

I work from home and just started another job. They still do not have my direct deposit set up straight. My bank has an app to deposit checks, but they can't be over a certain amount. I don't like driving to the ATM as late as I get off work and it takes away from my writing time. I have another checking account linked to my main bank, and deposit my check using their app.

I've been making these pretty awesome milkshakes with Tiramisu gelato, Bailey's, and Kahlua. I haven't put a dent in the Kahlua bottle because it's bigger than I am, but I'm running low on Baileys. Head over to Costco because I need groceries. Find out Costco has $4000 booze. I'm a much cheaper date. Grab a bottle of Baileys bigger than I am, find new food stuff that I am really excited about and go to check out. I have no idea what the Pin is on the debit card for my other checking and it takes several days to transfer to the account with the pin I know. Get told I cannot run that card as credit because of the type of card it is. And on top of it, she made me fish out my license and prove I am over 21, even though I'm WAY over 21.

Made sad panda face and went to Target. Found out boxed water is a thing. No idea if someone is waiting for Jesus to come turn that into boxed wine, but why??? Also, one can buy jarred pork fat. Maybe it's my southern showing, but I thought everyone had a canister on the stove with a strainer that you pour your bacon fat in after you cook to save it for later. It looked like coconut oil and I know I would have been really upset if I grabbed it thinking it was and brought it home and tried to make fat bombs with it.

ANYWAY, Yeah. Feet of Clay and Midnight's Sonata are both $.99 pretty much everywhere if the changes have gone through on all the sites. Special Agent Mauve is permafree. I need to go in and make Flash Permafree on Amazon, I just haven't had the time.

I've hired a PA and she's been awesome and hosted a few take overs for me. I've given away a few ARC's for Feet of Clay and hope to start getting feedback soon. When I write, I pretty much sit here thinking it's garbage, then I do my rewrites like, this isn't so bad, then I edit like OMG THIS IS TOTAL GARBAGE but then I hit publish and put it into the wind and try to promote it because maybe someone out there will like it.

 photo Feet of Clay Paperback - Copy_zps8kjri2wv.jpg

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Flooding in Louisiana

I have not posted about the flooding in Louisiana because I'm still trying to process it. When I woke up that morning, my phone had an alert that we were under a flash flood warning. I didn't even think about it because we get those frequently and there was no hurricane warning. There was also no evacuation warning because, again, no hurricane.

I work from home, and I did what I always do. I drank my greens smoothie, brought my laptop downstairs, and logged into my training session for my new job. I let them know the weather was a little rough and I may lose power. The power lines on my street are above ground and sometimes we lose power for a week during bad weather.

On my fifteen minute break, I logged in to Facebook. My mother had posted photos and her entire street was under water and creeping towards her house. My parents have occupied that house for 33 years. In that time, the water had never gotten that high. It didn't flood during hurricane Katrina, nor did the water get that close to the house.

Two hours later, I am on my lunch break. I check Facebook again. I have friends posting that they had to leave because water is coming into their houses. They left to go stay with family members who are dry and don't have water in the front of their house.

The next morning, I have another flash flood warning on my phone. I find out my parents had to flee their house in the night to higher ground until a family member could pick them up. My grandmother is okay, but she also lives close to me and I haven't flooded. I check Facebook again and all of my friends who do rescue work are desperately trying to find someone with a dry home to keep their fosters so they can get to at least one of the shelters that is open. One of them is running low on pet food and can't get out to get more. At least one of my friends has water up to the ceiling in her house.

AT&T cell towers are now under water. No one with AT&T can call or send texts unless they have a model cell phone that allows Wi-Fi calling and they are near a router. I cannot call my parents at all because they have older phones. The people that do have cell service are sharing photos and videos. There are streets that are totally underwater with just roofs visible. Local fishermen got together and pulled people off roofs and out of cars in their fishing boats and bateaus. They have since been named "The Cajun Navy". Videos of them pulling people and animals out of the water, out of cars, and off roofs have been shared multiple times on my Facebook.

I did not flood and I never lost power, but almost everyone I knew did. When I leave my house and talk to other people, I feel guilty meeting weary eyes when they ask how I made out after telling me they lost everything, to tell them I was okay in the flooding. The flood water is slowly going away, but people here are not okay. I know people with ten people staying at their house who need food. My rescue friends are overloaded with lost pets and need pet food. A lot of the people who flooded are not in flood zones and have not flooded since they have been alive, and do not have flood insurance. People have to get tetanus shots to go back inside their houses because there is foul water pooling on their floors and no one can start putting the drywall that they had to rip out back in for weeks because of toxic mold.

I'd like to address a few things I've seen in the news or other people post. I've seen this on twitter, facebook, etc. Why isn't Hilary there? Why isn't Obama there? Because they were asked to wait. Officers and firemen are tied up with rescue and dealing with traffic accidents on the roads that are actually open. That is where they need to be. Unless a politician is going to be here going around ripping out drywall, pulling people off roofs, etc, they don't need to be here tying up resources. Yes, Trump came anyway. No, he didn't donate to any of the disaster relief programs that are here. He donated to Tony Perkin's church. Tony Perkin's used to preach that disasters like this were sent to punish gay people. Until his house flooded in this flood.

I would also like to talk about some of the ignorant things I've read from people who don't live here who have been saying we should have learned our lesson and left after Katrina and should get no relief. I would also like to address the man who said he didn't want his tax dollars coming here because we should have known better. THIS WAS NOT A HURRICANE. This was 3-4 days of epic rain. Louisiana is not wetlands. The majority of people who flooded are not in flood zones because this is a 500 year flood. It's now being called a 1000 year flood. And to the guy who doesn't want his tax dollars coming here, I'll gladly send you some of mine so that you can go to school and learn geography, flood plains, and basic science

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Feet of Clay release date

Feet of Clay finally has a blurb, an ebook cover, and a paperback cover. And a release date finally. I'm shooting for 8/9 on all major retail outlets. This couldn't have been made possible without the help of a dear friend who stepped in and saved me while I was having a nervous break down and giving myself blurb related diabetes. I still don't know what category I'm actually going to put this book in. I've had several people suggest dark romance to me, but in this one, it's the girl, not the guy who is dark, mysterious and brooding and has all the issues. The guy does too, but we know what is going on in his head.

My dear friend who wrote the blurb was reading and chatting with me while he read it. He sent me a message "Is this THAT kind of story?" I told him it wasn't and broke the plot down for him since he asked and his response was just "Woah". He only got a little over 100 pages into it before he had to take a break because he said it got too intense, which is kind of what I was going for. Will be doing a bit of promoting and I finally got a PA who will be helping me, then it will be released.

 photo Feet of Clay Promo_zpslrkhvsoj.jpg

Feet of Clay

As I have posted in previous blogs, the blurb for Feet of Clay is giving me fits. I retreated into a blanket fort and edited for 2 months because I didn't want to write it.

I now HAVE to write it. I had been staring at this word doc with a half written blurb that I hated for two days. I had to go grocery shopping and went hungry, so I left with junk food. I get back home and I'm sitting there staring at the word doc, dipping mini kitkats into a tub of frosting, and hating life.

I send my friend a facebook message so he can talk me down. He tells me, "How about I write your blurb and you buy me a copy of the new Harry Potter book?" Now, this seems like a mutually beneficial arrangement to me.

I email him a final copy and finally slow down with the giving myself blurb related diabetes. He starts reading and send me a message, "Is this THAT kind of story?" I reply to him that it's not, I just started it when I was a wee babby writer so it seems that way at first. So he asks me what it is, indeed about. So I break it down. His response was "Woah."

When I wake up this morning, I have a blurb based on what I've told him thus far and the first 100 pages. He had to take a break from reading because the story was too intense. But I like his blurb so far. I just need to get input if people would buy it based on the blurb. It says what the story is about without giving away the surprises, twists, and too much detail

Max has never had a student quite like Taylor. He's been teaching for a long time and knows potential on the rare occasions he sees it. However, Taylor's personal life has convinced many people in their small town she's not worth the effort. Max sees things differently, though. As he struggles to reach the girl, though, he makes an error in judgment that changes everything, and Taylor disappears.
Five years later, Taylor returns, and Max sees it as an attempt to make amends for the past. However, Taylor doesn't seem to remember what happened, and as a relationship forms between the unlikely pair, Max worries that telling her the truth will cause irreparable damage to both of them. How much does Taylor actually know? And how much is Max willing to deny the past for the sake of an illusory present?

Monday, July 25, 2016

Southern editing and Feet of Clay

I've been in a funk for over a month. There is a date in June that is a very hard day for me. Feet of Clay has been finished for two months now and all I've needed to do is write the blurb. Rather than write it, I've been in a blanket fort with Netflix editing. I thought I was going to be able to come out last month, then that day in June happened and I've hated everything I've written, so I've still been editing.

I've gone through Midnight's Sonata again and I'm giving Feet of Clay one last go through, then I think I may finally write the blurb and send it off.

I live in Louisiana and have my entire life. There are things about me that are very southern and things that are not. Most of the time, when I call people at work, certain parishes with thick southern accents can't understand me and keep asking if I'm from California or New York. I dislike sweet tea and like my tea bitter like my soul. There are people who think I am rude because I go straight for "wow, you're a stupid twunt" instead of "bless your heart". I'm a vegetarian democrat living in the south. But there are also things you can never take away from me that I got from here. I actually prefer the heat and humidity to cold weather. You can pry my Community coffee, grits, and Tony's from my cold dead heads.

How this effects my writing? Only a small portion of my work takes place in Louisiana. Very little actually. One chapter in Midnight's Sonata. Feet of Clay takes place in a fictional small town that could be anywhere. The more I edit, the more I have to check my southern and sit here thinking, fix it, Jesus.

There's several scenes in Feet of Clay where they go grocery shopping. Shopping carts are called buggies here. I had to fix that. I was also sitting here wailing one night around midnight screaming "Whyyyy does every character in my novels live in a house with a porch???" I grew up in a house with a front and back porch, but now I live in a townhouse and all I have is a door step. Every time there is a hurricane here and we lose power for what seems like forever, I bring the contents of my freezer to my parents house and they grill my tofu and the contents of their freezer on a propane grill and we all pig out on the back porch and eat all the food before it goes bad. It's just what you do when there's a hurricane.

The next novel up for me after I've submitted Feet of Clay is going to be a fantasy novel. I have ideas for a horror and a strange sci-fi. Since I've been in a mood for over a month, I haven't been sleeping well and have been lucid dreaming. If I think it will work for a story, I get out of bed when they wake me up, type it into this note pad file, and try to go back to sleep

Monday, July 18, 2016

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Thursday, June 30, 2016

Special Agent Mauve now permafree

Special Agent Mauve-Origins is now permafree on Amazon and available for free on Smashwords, ibook, and many other sites.

I'm working on part two right now and there's an evil cat in it, based off several resident felines. It's a little ironic that I take a break from editing Feet of Clay to write this and one of these jerks knocks the Q off my keyboard and I can't find the key to put it back on.

I type on a USB keyboard and there is still one on my laptop keyboard, but switching between the two is awkward. I'm also realizing how much I previously undervalued that letter. As I sit here lamenting my lack of the Q key, one of the resident weirdos is just sitting behind me licking my back. He's probably going to weird out in a few minutes and go leaping across the room. This cat previously hated my guts, but he got into a fight with one of the other cats and I had to take him to the vet to get an abscess on his leg drained. He had to stay in the bathroom for a week and after a week of watching me use the toilet and shower, he now likes me. He's lived here 10 years and has hated me up until we bonded in the bathroom.

Special Agent Mauve part two will be coming out shortly. Feet of Clay is done aside from writing the blurb. I have been putting off writing the blurb for a month now because the thought makes me feel squirrely. I've been editing in my blanket fort so I don't have to do it. Sometimes there is ice cream and Netflix. Sometimes I suck my thumb and curl into the fetal position when I think about the blurb.

Next up, once I get over my blurb issues is a fantasy novel and I got the idea for a horror novel when I couldn't sleep. Because really, who wants to stick to one genre? I know the entire plot for the fantasy novel, since it's been in my head so long, but just the general idea for the horror. The rest will probably come to me at 3am when I'm trying to sleep, like always

Monday, May 30, 2016

Not adulting this month

Feet of Clay is finished. The cover is nearly finished. It's been finished since the beginning of May. Why is it not published you ask? Because I wrote the damned thing and still have no idea how to write the blurb for it, nor which genre box to put it in.

So I've been refusing to adult and write it. Everything I've ever written has been re-edited, including Midnight's Sonata, which is over 500 pages. It needed it because I found a random 3 one of these asshole cats inserted. I also started part 2 of my Special Agent Mauve series.

There's a bunch of twists in Feet of Clay and I want to write a blurb that hooks people without giving it away. I've also chatted with a friend and she believes it kinda, sorta, MAYBE could fit under dark romance, but I would have to put a warning about the end so that I don't piss people off.

I've looked at several dark romance books on Goodreads and while it kinda sorta fits there, it also doesn't. It's about a couple and a relationship. It wouldn't go under women's fiction because it's told from the point of view of the guy. The girl intentionally remains a mystery until the end, when I give her a voice through journal entries.

I went to New Orleans yesterday to see a touring show at the Saenger. I brought my Kindle so that I could finish reading the novella's I'm reviewing and my tablet JUST IN CASE I decided to adult and write the blurb. My kindle battery died right after we finished eating and got back into the car on the way to the theatre so I couldn't read.

One would think not being able to read on an hour drive home would force me to adult and write the blurb, but I gleefully stuck my fingers in my ears and said NEENER NEENER NEENER and played on facebook the entire drive home.

Eventually, I will put my big girl panties on and force myself to sit down and write this blurb like a grown ass adult.

Speaking of Special Agent Mauve, while I was in New Orleans, a rather bold pigeon crossed my path trying to eat garbage off the street. There are no attack pigeons in the second part of Special Agent Mauve like there is in the first, but there is a rather tech savvy cat that is based off my foster cat.

My foster cat is still available for adoption if anyone is looking for a cat who likes to snuggle, but also knows how to do things to your computer that causes it to blare showtunes at 2AM

Friday, April 22, 2016

Feet of Clay, new reviews, and upcoming works

I've finally finished Feet of Clay and it's going through rewrite now. I have no idea how this would fit in any of the genres on Amazon though. It's about a relationship, but a messed up one and people are supposed to be conflicted on if they want these people to end up together or not. So it's not romance. There's a few sex scenes in it, but I wanted to take a shower after writing them, even though there is nothing kinky or dirty about it. It's definitely not erotica.

Someone suggested Dark Romance to me and I'm not sure if that would be it either. He turns her into an addict and she turns him into an alcoholic. There's really nothing romantic about the relationship other than he really tries hard to make it work. I'll figure it out eventually.

Special Agent-Mauve got it's first 5 star review on Amazon and someone said it was both snarky and they enjoyed reading something that did not take itself seriously. That was what I was going for with it. I mean, there are attack pigeons in this book. The ending, what happens during her first mission, really happened to me in real life when my parents had us going on youth group trips. It's one of my most unpleasant memories, but I can life about it now.

Snarky and not taking life seriously is pretty much how I live my life, which isn't really that evident by my first novel, Midnight's Sonata, nor Feet of Clay. Those both have a little of me in there and are about serious subjects, but really, where I am now in life is that when life throws me a curve ball, I try to laugh about it.

I'm going to write a sequel to Special Agent-Mauve and I already have an idea for what that is going to be. My next book, after Feet of Clay is published, is going to be a fantasy novel I've had in the back of my head for years. Because really, who wants to be pigeonholed into one genre?

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Dream vomit

I dream vomited another short story. I may expand on it eventually. Everything I've published this year has been dream vomit.

I've had sleep issues for as long as I can remember. I drove my mother crazy. I'm the oldest and everyone told her babies just sleep all the time. Then I showed up and never slept. I eventually had a sleep study done and found the right medication to knock me out and keep me out. I'm not even going to discuss the conversation that was had in the surgery room when they dosed me to knock me out and five minutes later, I'm still complaining about how much it burns in my IV and they had to dose me again. I think it has something to do with being a ginger. I read an article about it years ago.

I still have nights where I don't sleep well. Monday night was one of those nights. Then the lawn guys showed up at something like, 6AM. I dreamed "Flash-A Death Story"  sometime Monday morning.

Kate is driving home from her shift at the hospital. She knows she should take a nap somewhere before she leaves, but she needs to let her dog out. The road is not well lit and she misses her turn. As she goes over the train tracks, there is no barrier or light telling her to stop, but as she crosses, she sees the train coming. FLASH. There is a white light. Another FLASH. She wakes up naked on white stairs with people talking over her. She wakes up again and she's being experimented on. Is she in hell, purgatory, or something worse?

Now available on Amazon

 photo Flash_zps9hvzwvou.jpg

Friday, April 1, 2016

Feet of Clay-A playlist

If you've read Midnight's Sonata, I'm also a musician. I play both the cello and the piano and compose. I've recently decided to teach myself the guitar, but first need to acquire one. I've been listening to a lot of music lately and thought about what "Feet of Clay" would be if told through music. I make a lot of mixed CD's for my car because not only is driving the perfect time to sing at the top of my lungs, most people I listen to are not generally played on the radio. So I decided to describe "Feet of Clay" just with music. I'm linking to YouTube videos so you can listen to them.

The setting is in a very small town and I would have to describe it with Tom Waits "A Little Drop of Poison I like my town, with a little drop of poison. Nobody knows they're lining up to go insane.

I would have to describe my main character, Taylor, with Tracy Chapman's "First Try"
Can't run fast enough
Can't hide, I can't fly.
I'm struggling with the limits of this ordinary life.
Can't say what I mean
Can't love from the heart
 Can't trust in the mercy and the goodness in the world
. Can't learn to accept that it's alright
,  To struggle with the limits of this ordinary life.

Later on in the book, when we get to know her and her problems, I think she would tell the lyrics to Tracy Chapman's Unsung Psalm to my other main character, Max. No, she doesn't die!

But I'm feeling hot and bothered under the collar
I feel the sweat breaking out on my brow
I feel the heat and I know it's the passion
The love I can't disavow

If this is a dream wake me up now
If this is a movie let's edit these scenes out
It would be a PG instead of an X-rated life
If I'd lived right

Some would call me a cheat call me a liar
Say that I've been defeated by the basest desired
Yes I have strayed and succumbed to my vices
But I tried to live right

But I have no regrets no guilt in my heart
I only feel sadness for any pain that I've caused
I guess I wouldn't bother to worry at all
If I'd lived right

Do you live by the book do you play by the rules?
Do you care what is thought by others about you?
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you life for the future the present the past?

If there is one thing I know I know I will die
If anyone cares some stranger my critique my life
I may be revered or defamed and decried
But I tried to live right

When we first meet Max, he's definitely more like Tom Waits "Temptation"  

I know that she is made of smoke
but I've lost my way
she knows that I am broke
so that I must play
temptation, temptation, temptation
oh, whoa, temptation, temptation, I can't resist
Dutch pink and Italian blue
she is waiting there for you
my will has disappeared
now my confusions oh so clear
temptation, temptation, temptation
I can't resist

After he commits an unforgivable sin, we have Leonard Cohen's "I Can't Forget"
I stumbled out of bed
I got ready for the struggle
I smoked a cigarette
And I tightened up my gut
I said this can't be me
Must be my double
And I can't forget, I can't forget

My two characters have been dancing around each other, the truth has been revealed, demons have been faced, and I am almost finished. I am now at a point where decisions must be made. Max is thinking along the lines of Tom Waits "The Part You Throw Away"

Will you loose the flowers
Hold on to the vase
Will you wipe all those teardrops
Away from your fase
I can't help thinking
As I close the door
I have done all of this
Many times before

The bone must go
The wish can stay
The kiss don't know
What the lips will say

Forget I've hurt you
Put stones in your bed
And remember to never
Mind instead

I will be writing an ending soon, but this is the soundtrack so far

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Writing and things

I've just discovered that my first novel, Midnight's Sonata, which was released in January, has hit the pirating sites. They have my cover, synopsis, and a file they are claiming is mine. I'm pretty sure it's really malware as the file they have for download is twice the size of my master file. If it's not, I hope the people pirating at least pop over and leave a review.

I'm getting close to finishing my second novel, Feet of Clay, but right now, the cat desires that I play fetch with her. My little dog has not figured fetch out yet and the pit bull will play it for a little while, but after about the fifth time of throwing the ball, she just stares at me with this look on her face like, "I can't believe you just did that!" This cat cannot get enough of fetch and will play it for hours. She just dropped a hair tie on my keyboard, so it's fetch time.

I edited my short story, Special Agent Mauve for the first edition after sending it to a friend to see what she thought. There are now attack stalker pigeons. Because there needed to be, dammit. I also went on YouTube and watched several Krav Maga training videos so I could flesh out the real training and her getting knocked on her ass. I've started planning the second edition, but research is crucial.

I have a friend on Facebook who is about as far on the other end of the political spectrum as me as possible. I met him because he is awesome and adopted one of my foster kittens and friended me in the store. We will go into epic, 150 comment political Facebook debates that generally end with kitten pictures. I like people who have totally different beliefs than me that can hold civil debates about it. He got me up to speed on some of the training that will be in the second story for Special Agent Mauve.

I do have to add, there are movies I watch while I write. I watch them over and over, depending on what I'm writing. There were several that I watched over and over while I was writing Midnight's Sonata. There are those I watch while writing Feet of Clay. Sometimes it's because of the story, sometimes it's because someone in the movie reminds me of one of my characters.

For Special Agent Mauve, I binged watched all three Naked Gun movies and True Lies. Which is why the stalker pigeons were desperately needed.

I should be wrapping Feet of Clay up soon and will be looking for ARC reviewers

Thursday, March 10, 2016

I've published a short story that I hopefully intend to turn into a series. It was another dream I had while half asleep, half awake.

An anonymous hacker group called "The Arm" has hacked the databases of almost all the secret agencies in the world and released the real names of every agent and people being actively recruited. All the agents have gone into hiding, as well as the recruits. Our heroine works a dead in job at the lowest totem in the insurance world. She used to watch James Bond movies with her father growing up. She views this as a chance to become a secret agent. Now that there is an agent shortage, online programs have popped up to become a secret agent. She signs up for a correspondence course to learn to be a secret agent. The course wants her to do the physical training on her own. She doesn't have much money, so she trained herself to fight using Tae Bo YouTube videos and she teaches herself to shoot with a potato gun.

She's ready to rule the world as a secret agent

Special Agent: Mauve-Origins is available on Amazon kindle. It's a short read, but I'm hoping to have longer editions for the next chapters due out pretty soon

 photo Mauve_zpszfs7zrs4.jpg

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Canon in D and cello players

My novel, Midnight's Sonata has a piano player and a cello player. It's kind of a tradition on my dad's side for everyone to take piano lessons. My father and all of his siblings play. I was the only grandchild interested in taking lessons, so I'm the only grandchild who plays. I grew up taking lessons and loved every minute of it. I practiced till my parents made me stop because it was time to go to bed.

When I went to high school, I went to a school with a strong arts program. I was taking piano lessons at the local university and I was also able to take lessons at my high school. I auditioned and wound up being the youngest person in my class. Everyone else had started in level one and progressed together.

My sophomore year, we got a new piano teacher. To grade us, there would be juries in front of the entire class. Sophomore year, our juries were to play something from the Baroque, Classical, and Romantic time periods as well as a contemporary piece. I chose things I was working on with my lessons at LSU because I got entered into a lot of competitions.

The rest of my class all chose the same pieces. I had to sit through Canon in D, Fur Elise, and John Lennon's Imagine about twelve times. I pretty much never wanted to hear those songs ever again.

I've always loved the cello and when I started composing, I wrote for it a lot. When I got the change to work with a live cellist, I realized I did not know a lot about ranges and what is possible on the cello. And I've always wanted to play it. So I signed up for cello lessons.

I started out in group lessons for a year. We were taught Suzuki method, which confused me because I've been able to read music since I was nine. We were only getting piece in C major, D major, G major, and a minor because they are all in first position and there are no extensions. When I compose, I frequently use keys like c# minor or b flat minor. I wanted to expand and learn other keys on the cello, so I switched to private lessons.

The cello is a beautiful, frustrating instrument. I bought things like bow hold buddies (It's a cute little elephant thing that sits at the end of your bow that is supposed to help your grip), I bought stress balls to squeeze at work to strengthen my hands. I practiced and attempted not to bang my head against the wall because it didn't come as easy to me as the piano.

When I was in high school and sitting through Canon in D so many times, I looked at the piano music everyone was playing. The left hand is essentially eight quarter notes, repeated over and over, either singularly or as an octave. Little did I know, when I finally started playing stringed instruments, that a composer would really do that to a professional musician.

The cello part in Canon is D is eight quarter notes, repeated over and over while the first violins, second violins, and viola's all get to have fun. I still, to this day, as someone who has taken cello lessons and as someone who has frustrated my cello teacher asking her to play my cello compositions, do not know why someone would do that to a musician.

Being a musician takes YEARS of practice. You essentially learn another language. There are symbols you have to learn and the rest of the notation is in Italian. There's math involved with learned the duration of the notes and rests. You have to fit your day and social activities around your practice schedule. If you're a kid, you frustrate your family trying to learn a new piece.

There will always be parts in full orchestral pieces where certain instruments don't have a lot to do or you're resting for long periods of time. But a good  composer will at least give you one good part. There is no good cello part in Canon in D.

If you ever ask a cello player to play Canon in D for something, at least tip extra or feed them

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Internet Troll V6.0-A Short Story

Troll V6.0

I’m not your typical internet troll. I don’t wait for you to post photos of yourself, then creep on you. I don’t try to be your racist high school friend. I don’t start huge flame wars, then sit back and watch them play out. No, I’m a 2016 internet troll. The new troll. I have it down to an art.

You see, I have about 50 different blogs and at least double the Facebook profiles. I have a few Twitter accounts for each blog. I post on one of my blogs, link it one of my Facebook profiles, tweet it, then sit back and wait for the fear to set in.

I sit back and read what is popular. That breakfast cereal you feed your kids? That new coffee machine everyone is going nuts over? A new popular water bottle? The latest superfood? I’ve blogged about it. But I don’t just blog about it. That breakfast cereal your kids eat? It’s got drywall compound in it and several neurotoxins. That new coffee machine? It’s got fecal matter in it even though most people have never brewed coffee in the bathroom. That water bottle? It’s made out of plastic that causes anxiety.

There’s no science behind anything I blog. Most of the time, I just make it up. If you can claim it has formaldehyde and causes cancer, the better. I never clarify that your body converts formaldehyde into formic acid and gets rid of it. I never say that formaldehyde is naturally occurring in several fruits and vegetables. I never say it’s only a danger if you work in a lab. Nope, it’s in that thing you just bought and it’s going to give you cancer.

You can pick any big word off the back of a cereal box or ingredient list and claim it’s a neurotoxin. You don’t have to define neurotoxin or what happens if you really do ingest a neurotoxin, you just need a big word and neurotoxin in bold, or better, red font. No one will Google the big word you chose and fact check you, they will go to their cabinets and look for the big word and the neurotoxin.

Another good one is blaming the plastic. The plastic something is in could trap fecal matter, cause depression. Just think up something bad and blame the plastic. It doesn’t matter if it’s a kitchen item and has never once been in the bathroom, you can claim there’s poop trapped in there.

Once I’ve written a good blog with no science, just a bunch of scary claims I’ve made up off the top of my head, sometimes with the help of Dr. Google, I change up the wording and put it on a few of my other blogs. Then I post a few links on my random Facebook profiles. I might tweet a link.

Then I just sit back and watch the links get shared with all kinds of comments like “OMG Scary!” or there will be someone who sells something similar who uses my blog to push their products. Facebook blows up for a few days with links to my blog about how the FDA is evil for allowing these things in our products while I just sit back and admire my work. When it starts to die down, I start finding a new product and thinking up new ways to scare people.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Midnight's Sonata-Free Promo 1/18-1/22/2016

My first novel, Midnight's Sonata is available for free this week in the Kindle store. Get your copy this week if you're interested.

The promotion ends on 1/22/2016 and it will go back to normal price on 1/23/2016. There will be a few more promotions this year

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Lincoln Cole-Schism A Collection of Short Stories-A Review

I recently had a chance to read Schism-A Collection of Short Stories by Lincoln Cole so I'm posting me review since this blog is not just about me and my writings.

This collection of short stories is a short read, but well written. The stories are varied and fleshed out. I'm not very good at writing short stories, so I respect people who can. Everything in the stories are described well enough that I had a mini movie playing in my head while I was reading.

Three stories that stood out to me the most in this collection are "Help Line", "Life or Death", and one about a hero.

"Help Line" had me rolling with laughter as I'm the resident family tech geek and while not one of my family members, I could see someone calling in and having this conversation. I could also imagine in my head, this is not really a help line, but the government talking to you and recording and waiting to arrest you.

"Life and Death" is about the end of the world. It's very sad and bleak. With this one, I wish the author would take the story and write a longer novel or novella. Reading it made me sad and I could picture the two officers having the conversation, but I was also left wondering what lead up to this? What happened after the list is released? I think it would make a excellent longer novel.

The story about the hero, which I'm sorry, I do not have the name on that story, has a huge twist, which I'm not going to reveal. It's hard to surprise me when I'm reading or watching a movie, and this surprised me in a short story, no less. It's essentially about two men, one who saves people from a train bomb and one who witnesses him doing it and finds his wallet.

The authors Amazon page states these are his earlier writings and his style has changed since then. I have his other works downloaded and look forwards to reading it soon

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Midnight's Sonata is now live

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My first novel, Midnight's Sonata is now live on Amazon in both print and Ebook.

If you had told me it would take this long to get it published when I finished it when I was sixteen, I would have laughed, but it's really a totally different novel now, as I changed so much. I'm obviously not fourteen-sixteen anymore and don't think that way anymore, though I did have to channel it for the first half of the novel when I was writing the sixteen year old narrator. I had to go to a few dark places even when I switched narrators to her mother.

I finished and edited in a whirlwind of 4AM nights when there was a word shortage and edited it again before I uploaded everything. It's a hefty 508 pages in print and I've been told I could have gotten 4 novels out of that, but for the most part, I haven't really picked up reading serials. Most of the series I read and enjoy are all at least that long or slightly shorter for each installment.

I remember a few years ago, when the last Wheel of Time novel came out. My husband was so excited as he essentially grew up with these characters and now it was ending. He asked me to read it and if you tell me a book is good, I will generally read it. I've also been bored and read books because I've been told they are bad. That's why I read the Twilight series. I haven't gotten to that point with 50 shades, but did break down and watch the movie two days ago.

I was maybe 20 pages away from finishing the 6th book. My husband would answer questions, but refused to give me any spoilers. I used to leave the kindle on the nightstand before turning the lights off and going to bed. Right around this time, the pit bull came into our lives. She slept in a crate till she was potty trained, and now that she is, she sleeps in bed next to me. The night I was 20 pages away from finishing the 6th book, the pit bull apparently couldn't sleep and decided the kindle might taste good and took a huge bite out of it and cracked the screen, making it unusable.

I had to order a new kindle, wait for it to come in the mail, get my books back on the kindle and try to find my place again. My husband refused to spoil the end for me and pretty much teased me horribly about my nerd reader predicament.

I got him back though because when he asked me to read that, he wanted to know what I was reading, and I just got done reading the last Shadow hunter book and refused to answer any of his questions.

I will acknowledge that the both of us are huge geeks.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016


There was not much work loaded last week, so last week was a whirlwind of 4am nights writing, then finishing, then editing. I'm totally done with Midnight's Sonata and have everything uploaded and a proof on the way. They didn't give me a tracking number and my postman doesn't always knock, so I supposed this week will be spent putting pants on, which I hate, and checking the mail in a paranoid frenzy.

When I finally got everything uploaded and approved, I finally fell into bed around 5am with my kindle and a celebratory ice cream bar. This proved too much for my pit bull. Normally, I have a blocky head on the side of the bed demanding pets, but this time, she went too far and tried to steal my ice cream in the short time it took for me to unwrap it and move it to my mouth. It was covered in chocolate and my vet isn't open at 5am for paranoid phone calls like the time I was late for a birthday party because she hoovered a banana peel before I could get it out her mouth.

While I'm waiting, there was another novel I worked on if I was ever stuck on Midnight's Sonata and it's about 75 pages so far. I'm writing on that now while I wait for my proof. I've gotten some much needed sleep, finally shaved my legs, and watched a lot of cartoons.

My dogs get into all sorts of mischief, so while I was writing last night, I had to get up and turn the radio off that my little dog had turned off. He can't jump on the bed, so he jumps on the nightstand and slides across. Sometimes he knocks my alarm clock behind the bed. Sometimes he sets my alarm clock at random times, which really, explaining to your manager that you were late because your dog messed with your alarm clock is like eaten homework. Sometimes he turns the radio on full blast and wakes me up.

I bought doggy stairs off Groupon because I think I'm giving him self esteem issues every time I point and laugh when he tries to jump and misses, but they came in and there are no instructions and none of the screws and screw holes make any type of logical sense so they aren't put together.

Hopefully, I'll be able to update with links to purchase and post a sample chapter, but for now, I'm just back to writing.