Friday, May 26, 2017

Mauve part 2, the full length, is done and I've set the scene for another full length book. But no cliff hanger because I fricking hate those. If you need me, I'll be in an editing blanket fort with nicotine, caffeine, and rum

And dear government looking at my search history, I'm not REALLY going to hack any government websites, it was just research for a book. I'm also not snorting cocaine or making gun powder and acid if you were looking at my search history for other books

 photo mauve2promo_zpskbthtrt6.jpg

Friday, May 19, 2017

Combined works

When you put them all together, it looks like I actually got some shit done

Mauve-The full length book. Coming soon

What do hackers, a hairless cat, hipsters, a botanist with a foot fetish, and dick pics have in common?

You probably sent me a messed up PM on facebook and got snarked on in Mauve's full length book. Nothing is sacred and I make fun of everything.

I think I went a little more Palahniuk than The Naked Gun with this one, but it's still in the same spirit as the original short story, even if I got a little gross. Grosser than barfing on someone. (That entire thing with the eggrolls totally happened to me in real life in the 6th grade when I was traveling with a group. I was stuck in a van for hours with just a garbage bag and a bunch of people mad at me for getting food poisoning) Thankfully, most gas station food has progressed since way back when I was 11. There's a pretty sweet gas station by my parents house that sells Greek food in the corner. Like, real, delicious Greek food that doesn't give you food poisoning.

Which is more than I can say for the grocery story by my house. Sometimes, when I edit, I need donuts. I crave donuts. I go all Homer Simpson for donuts and can't get any work done unless I get a donut in my face hole. Do you know how awful it is to get donuts ruined for you because you got food poisoning from donuts from the grocery store by your house? It put me off donuts for a good month. Until I needed to edit again.

Protip: When editing or writing, the Waitr app will deliver delicious donuts, Greek food, or Indian food directly to your facehole so you don't have to take a break to cook if you're in the middle of an intense scene

The Spirus box set

All four Spirus books, including the latest release, The Gifted Child, are now available as a boxed set on Amazon. Grab all four books for $8.99

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Special Agent Mauve

I had to scrap all the possible covers I had made for Agent Mauve's full length book because apparently Amazon considers firearms on covers offensive, even though there's a clear firearm accessory section of Amazon. Whatever. I made a new cover and now I have 2 potential covers if I want to extend the series. THis is the new cover and I'll be finished with it once I catch me some hackers and a botanist with a foot fetish

 photo mauvealt2_zpss0jlo4hn.jpg