Salome: A Modern Retelling Giveaway

YOU get free shit, YOU get free shit, YOU ALL get free shit. I'm not really Oprah, but sometimes I like to pretend.

I'm doing a giveway of Salome: A Modern Retelling, where it's FREE until 3/31 on Instafreebie

Check it out

All I ask is that if you grab it, if you could please leave an honest review

So Your Cat Wants to Kill You

I should pretty much never be left to my own devices. Like, ever. I need to be doing,minimum, two things at once. I had this covered up until recently. Now, I'm trying to bide my time by making the second thing I do during the day is read during down time.

I'm in a few review groups on goodreads. I had chosen a book from one of these review groups and was waiting on a copy. Two days had gone by and it still hadn't arrived. So I'm sitting here, just doing one thing, which is always dangerous.

So yeah, this happened.


Why is your cat always plotting your death? Why do they always have to fuck shit up? What's REALLY with them always shoving their butthole in your face and why do they have to rub it on everything?

It should be up on Amazon probably tomorrow. It should be up on a few extended distribution shortly. Google play to come. It's totally silly, but there's some cat tips from my years of fostering cats

Things published

I'm so awful at keeping up this blog. It's probably because my mind is gone because I appear to be seeing how long it's humanly possibly to live off caffeine, toast, and yogurt. And no sleep.

I've actually published 3 books since Christmas. The Spirus went live on Christmas Day, its prequel, Belisarus' Diary went live in February, then I published a modern retelling of the Salome story that I'm probably totally going to hell for, but it was a lot of fun writing.

Salome is actually up on Instafreebie until the 31'st, so you can grab it HERE if you'd like a copy, I'd just ask that you leave an honest review when you're done.

I prefer writing literary fiction, even though it's not a popular genre. I took a break to write The Spirus, The Spirus prequel, and Salome, but now I've gone back to write my latest, Crow girl, which I'm actually having fun writing.

I had two ideas for a setting. One was an hour away from me and the other was across an ocean to a place I have family, but have never been. I opted for across the ocean and am having a blast researching different swear words and slang.

So basically, if you want to read fantasy,The Spirus , The Spirus: Belisarus' Diary are available. If you want romance and kind of erotica, Salome  is availble

Where is my mind?

I published The Spirus on Christmas day. Since then, I've published the prequel and I've furiously written most of another book.

When I was nearly done with the prequel to the Spirus, I knew I wanted to write the Salome story, but I kinda wanted to do it Norma Desmond style and not Oscar Wilde. As I'm writing the prequel, my brain starts screaming at me, but WHAT if you take it totally in this direction and go totally into left field with the Salome story?

My head would literally not stop screaming at me about the Salome story. I took about a weeks break and furiously wrote about 40K words in a week. Spent, I went back and finished the prequel and hit publish around February 15th or so.

I've been working on the Salome story since then and it's up to a little over 92K words in maybe 2-3 weeks. I'm pretty much done except the last chapter. Except I'm staring at this last chapter like my pit bull when I give her a crunchy treat. I have it in my mouth and I know I want to eat it, but I'm so excited, I've forgotten what to do with it. So I'm doing what she does when she gets a cookie. I'm essentially running around the room and jumping on and off the bed with a cookie in my mouth like, "I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M EXCITED!!"

This also could be because of the fact that while I plowed through this book, I stopped eating real food, dropped a ton of weight, and made myself sick. I thought I might want to eat real food again and was going to order delivery. Saw Waitr has Izzo's now and I could have had a big, beautiful vegetarian burrito delivered to my face hole. My stomach pretty much said, "Yeah, I still don't want to eat." So I closed the app and went back to writing.

I pretty much look like Gollum right now and I have to go to a family function later today. They are either going to A: throw food at me or B: their electronics are going to be so broken I spend the entire time huddled in the corner fixing them no one notices my resemblance to Gollum.

I did catch up on season 3 of Z nation while writing the Salome story. I have an idea for my next book, which, oddly, does not involve zombies considering I was watching a zombie show. It has 0 to do  with zombies and there's a Ben Folds song involved. Maybe it came to me because I was trying to distract myself from that really bad wig they put a character in. Hello, lace fronts are awesome. Use them.

My version of the Salome story is actually full of drug lords, cocaine, snitches, and sex. That's just where I decided to take it. I'm looking for people who want ARC's in exchange for a review. If you click eepurl.com/cD1feH"> here
and sign up, once I'm finished and done editing, I'll pop a free copy over to you for review

Where covers go to die

I make my own covers. Generally, they are also photos I have taken myself aside from the Mauve series because I don't have the props for it here. I ended up having to use a stock photo for the prequel to The Spirus, which I still haven't blogged about, but is out, but all the art work to it aside from the photo is mine.

I have this folder full of covers that made it and covers in various states of undress where I started a filter and didn't like it. For the prequel to "The Spirus", I made a blue, purple, and red themed cover. Red was the one that won, Figuring out what I want to eat also usually takes 3 days and about 4 trial runs.

The book I'm working on now, I have about 6 versions of the cover that are potentials. I decided on one I liked and put my title and name on it. I have computer installed fonts and fonts I downloaded. I put a font I found and haven't used before on the cover and now I have no fucking idea which font it is for the spine.

I'm going to have to go on a font scavenger hunt when it comes time to put a paperback cover together. I'm getting close to finishing the book, which is a modern day twist on the Salome story. I only hope Amazon doesn't put this book in biblical fiction, otherwise, I'm going to piss a whole hell of a lot of people off

My first hater

I pretty much have my first hater. I'm not sure if that means I've made and I can retire to my castle with pygmy goats. I know who it is and what their problem is.

Pretty much the only thing I will dignify with an actual response is that I was accused in public of using a ghost writer. Everything on online with my name on it was written directly BY me, usually after a 16 hour work day. I write between 4-6 hours a day, usually into the later hours of the night.

My work and writing schedule has changed 3 times since November due to where I work. I went from writing everything until the wee hours of the morning to having to get up way before my body was ready as a night person and having to learn to write in the afternoon. About a month ago, my schedule changed again. I work in the morning, I get a 4 hour break where I feed myself and try to fit as much writing in as I can, then I go back to work for a few more hours. I clock out and write for another few hours.

Basically, my knees are falling apart from the way I write. I danced for years, both for local companies and in school. My flexibility was quite loved by choreographers, but my bendy knees decided to give themselves runners knee the way I sit to write for so many hours. I don't run. Ever. If you see me running, you should run too because basically, the Walking Dead is happening.

So basically, I don't ghost write. My body is turning against me for the way I sit to write and I currently look like Gollum from staying up late to write and getting up early for work.

Say whatever you want about me because you're pissed, whatever. Vomit all over internet random shit about me. It's been 3 months and it's probably time to just move on. I'm generally not going to respond to it until you try to say my written word and my ideas are not my own and something I pay someone else for

ARC's available for The Spirus

ARC's will be available probably by the end of the day for The Spirus, an adult fantasy novel. Want to get in on the ARC's love? https://goo.gl/dXgRrS"> Clicky here